Now I would really like if someone could explain to me how a girl willingly participating in the act of showing love for a another person has to do with having no self respect because I don't see it. Why do people equate a girls losing her virginity before marriage with having no self respect?
I'm with you on that one.
I've never understood why people should wait till marriage. No actually, not people, women/girls.
Apparently it is not ok to do something totally natural unless you are married.
Sex before marriage ftw ;)Why do people equate a girls losing her virginity before marriage with having no self respect?
I don't see it as meaning that a girl has no self-respect. I see it as meaning she has different values than I do, since I believe in waiting until marriage. However, if a woman sleeps around, has one-night stands, sells her body (either as a hooker, stripper or both), than I see her as having no self respect, as she clearly sees herself as an object rather than as a person and endangers her health in the process. My husband and I are each other's one and only. I think that's too priceless to assign it a monetary value.
That is kind of silly, I agree. But who cares who is with who, it if they are doing it for love or just doing it to do it. I have run into people I know that could care a less if folks knowk who they sleep with or have slept with. Life is meant to be fun, and if that is how people like their fun, go for it. The only bad thing though is that clamdayia is so common place now adays and it is not a high profile vinerearal disease,, but can cause some rather nasty pelvic inflammatory disease and cause women to not to be able to have babies.
Other then that I would tell the moralzing nazi question person to move to China, Cuba, and Canada where folks like then tell people how to live, this it the USA.
Self respect has a lot to do with knowing yourself and feeling comfortable with your choices. If a girl feels that she wants and is ready to have sex before marriage and she makes that choice with full awareness of all its consequenses, then she HAS self respect. Likewise if she chooses not to.
It's all down to personal choice, self belief, and confidence to do what makes YOU happy, without worrying what other people think!
In Christianity it was a sin to have sex before marriage and so a girl who had lost her virginity before marriage had committed a sin wilfully and if she had self respect she would not commit the sin. Though I believe it is a perfectly fine thing to do.
whores, hookers girls like that may have no self respect. but yeah I agree with you, that doesn't make any sense..
be yourself. that will save you always.
Your question is loaded with assumptions.
Sex is not the same thing as love.
Spreading legs for sex is not the same thing as showing love.
I think the answerers were telling you an answer you didn't want to hear. I think, in general, most girls are perceived as giving up their virginity as not doing it for love... but for a hunger for approval because of a failure of strength of identity.
Would you have problems with the following questions and answers? You might not.
How insecure are teenagers, on average? Quite a bit.
Are girls, on average, much more insecure than boys? Yup.
Will teenage girls do stupid things because of their insecurity? yup.
The putting of those together with the sexual experience makes an answer of a girl giving it up because of no self respect very plausible.
Here is more data:
I have seen interviews with convicted pimps where they talk about how they recruit 12-15 year old girls as prostitutes. They all talk about how the easier recruits - the ones that are most controllable - are the ones with no self respect. Irrespective of beauty - the girls with no self respect, when given attention and put in the right (terrible) circumstances are the more profitable to turn into a life of prostitution.
You can not deny or refute that there is a connection between young girls having no identity, no self respect - and their willingness to debase themselves in sexual ways for attention.
You dont have to like it, but if you are being intellectually honest with yourself, you cant just discard it.
That is in general. Its statistics. Its not in specific. There are likely some who do it for love.. but thats not the common reason - but the uncommon.
This is mostly in reaction/continuation to Sr Egr. As a woman of a certain age, former girl, having lived in different countries, I would say that most girls/women everywhere do it for love (in the moment, it is love, and once a female has sex with a man, the attachment hormone kicks in). The love motivation is every bit as strong, overwhelming, and precocious for girls as the overt sexual urges of males. Girls are pre-wired for the relationship part of love, and get practice from early on, just as boys get so much practice with their thingy from tiny tot on, so both are kind of ready to spring into action their area of expertise, so to speak.
I won't go into all the societal aspects that have tradtionally shaped people's attitudes. Many of them are still in play, at least subconsciously, and at the same time society as a whole, male/female roles, individual empowerment have been turned llitterally inside out, upside down and expanded at exponential rates in the last 2 generations. There is still a lot of adapting to do, on all levels. There's breakage, inefficiency, innovation on the way - an awful lot of human pain, frustration, growth and joy.
The problems (unadapted response) do often come from females' poor self-esteem. We still haven't really worked that one out yet. Most girls/women still seem to have a built-in problem with self confidence - feeling damned if they have it (too egotistical), and damned if they don't (won't succeed in modern world). Is this really hard-wired (nature), or all learned (nurture)?
The other thing all people do is project: boy projects his sexual desire on girl, assumes she's on same wave-length for wanting sex for iself, and once he gets it, well that's good - men are admired for ';getting'; something from others; girl projects her desire for loving relationship onto boy, and if he accepts her, assumes he wants to share love, but when he's gone, that's bad - she gave away something for nothing. Ya can't win fer losin'.
Look, Hun, sex isn't really a way to show love unless you're actually in love with the person. A lot of young girls think they are in love when in actuality it is just infatuation. They give in to sex because they are being pressured or they just want to know what it feels like. I don't think that anyone is truly ready for sex until they are ready to have children. That is why no one has any respect for someone who has sex before they are ready. Do you have any respect for teenage mothers? You may feel sorry for them, but a teenage mother is not a person that most people look up to.
No comments:
Post a Comment