Why do people who PRETEND to be married insist that marriage doesn't mean anythiing?

Why do people who have been together for a few years, who live together, who share expenses, and who have kids together, think that's the same as being married? If your so against marriage and insist that it''s just a piece of paper that doesn't mean anything, then why PRETEND like you're married?Why do people who PRETEND to be married insist that marriage doesn't mean anythiing?
Once again I have to agree with you Drew. Living together and being married ARE 2 different things. And for some people being married is taboo but living together is just fine. I have to chalk it up to hypocrisy. When you ask most people who live together, they are just fine with their arraignment but when you mention marriage, all of a sudden ';Its just a piece of paper that means nothing';. Muppet0000 said its all the same at the end of the day. NO, IT';S NOT THE SAME. If your ';pretend spouse'; goes into the hospital can you sign the papers?, Disconnect them from the life support?, Give the go ahead to administer medication?, What happens when you two ';divorce';? Who gets what? What happens when your ';spouse'; owns the house and then kicks you out? I have a good friend of mine who's in his 80's who calls shacking up ';The cowards marriage';.Why do people who PRETEND to be married insist that marriage doesn't mean anythiing?
Well that's a good question though a lot of people have gone along


with this experiment (though they will claim it is not ) and in the end


whats there to do ?





Either go ahead and give in and accept that it is the same and why


not by law give your children a last name instead of ...............


Someone i know did this for years in their partnership till one day


the family thought they saw the light, And married for their children's


and relationships sake. Though nothing had changed.





I am a good observer and i feel the people who chose to hang ten on


marriage are the ones most stubborn they see things their way and


no other and in the end what is there to do ?





# Marry # Separate # Divorce # Stick together





In the end it's the same choices for all of us.
They aren't pretending anything. They have a commitment to each other just like any legally married couple, they just don't see the need for a silly ceremony and a piece of paper. That's how people used to live before marriage ceremonies were even invented, before 'the church' told us all that not having a ceremony was 'living in sin' and you'll go to hell. What rot! Anyway, that's about all I can think of to this silly question.
People lack morals and girls give ';it'; away without committment. My mom always used to say ';why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?'; and that has been proven to be true these past few decades. Men don't have to put a ring on a girl's finger if she's willing to put out and give him children. Those same girls, who once dreamed of marriage; have now convinced themselves that marriage is irrelevant because they don't want to stir the pot.





Marriage is not just a piece of paper, it is a lifetime committment that should be taken seriously. Perhaps if everyone quit sleeping around, having bastard children and stopped cheating...more women would have the self esteem to stand up for themselves and their boyfriends would make that committment.
In some states, after a while of living together and doing all the things that married couples do.. you are considered 'common law' married. If you have kids together and do all the things that married people do, then, I'm sure the woman you are with DOES feel like you want a commitment with her. I would guess the one who professes to be so against marriage isn't really against it at all. Either that or they are afraid to file for a marriage license for some reason. Who knows?
well in the olden days you couldnt live together or have children without being treated bad and pointed at but in the 21st C we have started to cohabit etc without judgment etc and being a couple married or not we are living as though we are so i guess it is the same. you wouldnt know if a couple living together in this day and age are married or not unless you asked them or saw their rings.
Probably because they cant see the point of spending so much time and/or money on getting ';officialy'; married. They know their commitment to each other %26amp; thats all that matters. Also, some of them dont believe in god, so a religious ceremony is pointless...some also view the courts in a bad light (%26amp; who can blame them, the justice system is screwed) so they dont bother making it official in the legal sense either, %26amp; why should they when all it involves is giving money to some beaurecrat. A legal contract between two people isnt very romantic anyway, staying together just on free will is tho.
The commitment that a marriage vow brings, makes petty differences more likely to be hammered out.





Marriage counselors Les and Leslie Parrott have an idea.





In their excellent book Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, they suggest four myths that have torpedoed many marriages because of unrealistic expectations and misconceptions about what marriage should be. In what follows, we鈥檒l look at four marriage myths that are the most harmful and most common: http://www.probe.org/site/c.fdKEIMNsEoG/鈥?/a>





鈥?We expect exactly the same things from marriage.


鈥?Everything good in our marriage will get better.


鈥?Everything bad in my life will disappear.


鈥?My spouse will make me whole.





Every marriage is between two broken and fallen people who cannot make each other whole. We are called to love and respect each other, serve and celebrate each other鈥攂ut only God can make us whole.





';Happily ever after'; may be for fairy tales, but that doesn鈥檛 mean there is no such thing as a happy, rich, fulfilling marriage. But it鈥檚 only possible for those who live in reality, not in the fantasy of make-believe myths. May God give us grace to trust Him to walk in truth and not illusion.
so when one of you kicks the bucket, you can claim the house. they have legal rights you know. so yes in that respect they are right, they have the same legal rights as spouses, you just paid a hell of a lot more for that piece of paper, and you will have to pay a lot more to have that paper destroyed. not terribly economical really...
I think they feel that if they fully committ to the other in marriage, that they will take advantage of that and become a rotten person whereas if youre single and dating, you have to try to make sure they dont leave you.





But I say if you feel that way about the other person, then maybe you shouldnt be with them in the first place if you are not willing to fully committ to them.
It's called FEAR my friend. Why would you buy the gallon of milk when you can have the COW for free. Get my point.





I think it's stupid. It honestly comes down to FEAR. That's it.





But... I do believe in a test drive. I would preffer to live with someone for a few years and make sure that we can stand living with each other. BUT... We both gotta be one the same page that we have marriage in mind and in the future.
Your totally right. I mean look at the answers on here. They are still skirtting around the issue. None of them will come out and say WHY they insist that marriage doesn't mean anything. It's the same because it ';just is';. What a stupid answer. Being married and living together is not the same. However, those that are living together CAN'T tell you why it is the same or isn't because they have never what??? oh right THEY'VE NEVER BEEN MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pretend that they are married? Think about what your saying there lol.





So they are together and acting like couples act, being married will not change the way they act. At the end of the day, it IS just a peice of paper. It will not change anything about their relationship together.
Living together is nothing more than a fear based union, two scared people. On top of easy sex for him and insecurity issues for her. This is why it doesn't last, even if they get married. The 20 somethings are the most popular group that do this kinda thing.
They don't pretend to be married, they behave as a couple; married couples also behave as couples; this is why it looks similar from the outside. Both married and unmarried couples strive towards the same goals.
most states recognize this as a marriage. Its called a ';common law marriage'. Something after 5-7 years or so of living together, it is legal marriage. no paperwork nessasary.
They're not pretending that they're married they are living together and that is how living together is the same as marriage so why would you need something that says you're married?
I wouldn't say they are ';PRETENDING'; to be married.......they're just marching to the beat of their own drum. It may have ';marriage'; similarities but they feel more ';free'; because their situation is not legally binding..........
I'm an atheist, so my beliefs aren't motivated by any ridiculous fear of sin. Married is married, living together is not. I agree with your point.
Its not the same thing but instead of drinking haterade its better to just let them do what they do. You aren't going to change their mind.
Because it is the same. Duh! The tele says so anyway, so let's not question the box of infinite wisdom. Obey!
Yes I agree with you.





Why aren't they proud to be not married.
i agree with konstant