How can we get touch and intimacy back into our marriage after a terrible period in our lives?

We have had a rough few years, and are starting to rebuild our marriage. We are having councelling, but I still find it very difficult to be touched by my partner, even in the slightest. How can we start to build bridges again, and work to have a 'normal' relationship where holding hands, touching, or anything else dosen't feel so odd?How can we get touch and intimacy back into our marriage after a terrible period in our lives?
if you begin by considering both of yourselves to be different, new (better) individuals who are just getting to know each other and start from scratch. if the past feelings and experiences (bad) keep creeping in at this point, it would not just be difficult, it would be impossible.





There are very few people who take the pains that you are willing to take so hats off to you! and All the luck to you.How can we get touch and intimacy back into our marriage after a terrible period in our lives?
I'm going through the same thing, and wish you luck
Well done you for wanting to try. You have to move on and let the past go and try to see yourself as a new couple. The people who went through the difficult time aren't there anymore, and keep reminding yourself of this if you feel old niggles creeping back.





Try if you can to get out and about and spend time away from the house and familiar surroundings that can pin or tie us to our old selves. If you make time as a couple going for outings, to towns %26amp; places where no-one knows you, you have no distractions and only knowing each other the natural instinct is to be there for each other, won't be so easy to wander off or get caught up doing your own thing. In an unfamiliar surrounding it's also easier to for example 'hold each others hands' it's reassuring and no-one you know is there to judge, it's just the two of you. I don't mean holidays or breaks or whatever, all the better if you can manage that, but simple day trips, jump on a train to a town you've never been to, even if it's just to go for a coffee or look at the buildings parks etc. Leave the car behind so you have to focus on one another and avoid potential stress situations of driving and parking. It needn't be expensive. It's summer and the ideal time to get out and about.





These shared experiences will belong to the two of you exclusively and hopefully as it sounds like you both want to work at it, will bring you closer emotionally making the physical steps that bit easier to build on. Don't be put off if you have a day out and you niggle each other, it doesn't mean failure it just means your normal, just try again another day.





Hope that helps:)
I say that mending your marriage is second, you have to become friends again first and you should just do things friends do till it feels OK again and then see where it goes.





All the best
Accept what happened in the past and move on from there. Realise that you are both different individuals now from what you were two years ago. By constantly holding on to the thought of what happend will prevent you from enjoying each others company.