I mean, I was told that I should wait for the special someone who I just can't get enough of and if it is real, it will be that way for years!
That is why I have never married.
What gives here?
Do I have to settle?Why do so many people settle when it comes to marriage?
Real life happens - having to go through problems and solve problems together, raise kids, pay bills, go through sicknesses, worry about aging parents...but the GOOD news is, you can ALWAYS make the butterflies always come back.
It's not ';settling'; if you marry your best friend and lover. You can weather life's storms together and still have toe-curling sex !Why do so many people settle when it comes to marriage?
I got married because I love my wife. However, I apparently use a different definition of love than you do, because the one I use does not contain the word ';butterflies'; anywhere within it:
Love is patient and is kind; love doesn't envy. Love doesn't brag, is not proud, doesn't behave itself inappropriately, doesn't seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn't rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
You find someone you like to be with -- to shop with, eat with, hang with, have some stuff in common with, that makes you laugh...
Someone who's CRAZY family you can tolerate and can do the same for yours.
Someone who you can to hold and be held by.
Someone you can fight and make-up with... and who's gross habits you can ignore.
Someone who you can be quiet with and someone who'll leave you the hell alone from time to time.
Then you toss a coin and tie the knot.
And yes, the grind of REAL LIFE eventually gets to you. It is real life, after all. And marriage is hard work. You either choose to stay for the hard stuff or you don't.
That's not to say it's NOT fun. You take the good with the bad -- like everything.
Best to you, Sweetie!!!
xoxo
EDIT: How long is it until that feeling wears off and you start to look for it again? That sounds like something entirely different than you're asking about re: marriage.
Have you seen a therapist about it?
Because the ';perfect'; person doesn't exist. If you spend your life waiting for some Hollywood type BS romance to sweep you off your feet, chances are you will end up alone. Not to mention the older you get, the more shallow the dating pool gets. Most people will grab on to a decent person in their mid 20s as by the time you are in your mid 30s, all that is left are divorced people with baggage, nut cases, and baby mommas!
Now ask yourself, who really ';settled';?
Butterflies change in the cycle of life just like everything else. They are a stepping stone to another phase in the relationship. If you guide it properly, and work with it well, you will experience a bond of true love and mutual fulfillment. Like your best friends, this bond if developed correctly will last for eternity.
I've only been married 3 years. My butterflies haven't faded. I am always happy to see him when we get off work. I love spending time together.
You don't know that it will take years. It might be the next person that you meet. For me it happened by accident. I started doing things I enjoyed, and thats how I met him. I was 95% I would never get married. I'm glad I was wrong.
Even in marriages the butterflies STOP but that doesn't mean the love and respect and honoring of vows does. NO relationship is perfect and you should expect drama but the love and respect can withstand any relationship drama especially if both you and hubby are on the same page.
Of course the lust fades but the love grows stronger. You are describing lust ';butterflies';.
If you don't know what love is I am glad you haven't gotten married.
Most people ';settle';, because they don't know themselves well enough to decide what it is they really want/need in their spouse.
SCARED couldnt have said it any better!!!
Happy-2 hit the nail on the head. Love is action as described in 1Cor.
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